


i never needed you (maybe a little)

by maybeimabitcrazy



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, and he's not really unsympathetic, however he doesn't mean it, patton can be interpreted as unsympathetic at times
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:35:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28698516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maybeimabitcrazy/pseuds/maybeimabitcrazy
Summary: Janus left him. Janus was all he had left. And he... left him too.Remus is falling apart at the seams, falling apart without someone to ground him to reality. His mind is taking him over and he's destroying everything in an attempt to recover what he had.But it'll never be the same, will it?
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 5
Kudos: 24





	i never needed you (maybe a little)

**Author's Note:**

> :) hope y'all enjoy

Remus sat on the couch, bobbing his leg and staring at the ceiling, imagining ways he could gut a man without getting the carpet stained.

The basement was quiet. Usually, when he and Janus were here, they at least had a movie on. Chattering loudly… Although, it was mainly Remus. Janus simply listened to his rambles about the movie and all the ways you could kill someone without getting caught.

But now he was alone. No one to talk to, nor anyone to watch a movie with.

Of course, he’d tried his best to keep himself occupied. He destroyed zombies and made his own friends in the imagination, he’d painted the walls of his room with their blood. He’d banged pots and pans together and made an entire musical in his mind.

But what was the fun if there was no one here with him?

No one to yell at, or try to bite, or tackle in the dead of night.

...Not a soul.

Janus had been “accepted” to the “good side” and hadn’t even bothered to say goodbye over a month ago. He’d left him. 

Now, Remus wasn’t one to cry. No, Remus was intrusive thoughts! He imagined and acted on things that would make some people sob! It was his job. He didn’t care. He didn’t need Janus.

He could do his job by himself! Keep himself entertained… Forever… Alone. _ (No one to enforce the rules, you can do whatever you want!) _

In a dark, quiet, lonely basement.  _ (...It doesn’t feel the same.) _

He scrambled in the dark— he hadn’t turned any of the lights on in ages— and found the remote on the table that probably should’ve snapped in half years ago. The TV clicked on and filled the room with a bright light.  _ (Like the light people go to when they die) _ flipped through the channels, settling on a “The Quiet Place.”

Suiting, wasn’t it? A silent movie for a silent place! A quiet place! Where his thoughts of gutting his friends, taking a  _ spider _ and ripping it’s legs off one by one, grabbing Janus’  _ stupid backstabbing ugly face and ripping the snake half of his head off using it as a wall mount-... _

So suiting. 

Remus leaned back on the couch and ran his hand along the leather, pressing over the rips and tears, remembering the time when each happened. _ (He tackled Janus one time and got his scales stuck in the couch…) _

He had a very good memory. Like the time when Patton’s judgement was to rip him into two, splitting his mind.  _ Their _ mind? Almost twenty five years and he still wasn’t sure.

The way his arms and body seared and seemed to pull apart in an unnatural way, pulling itself apart and putting itself back together. Ripping his very mind apart.

Giving the “good” half to Roman.

And being left to the dust with the “bad.”

Oh, but then Janus took him in! Janus, with his sly smile and way with words. Deceit. Dee. With his carefully swept hair, tied back in a low pony. His hair was always so long… His suit, his gloves, his eyes-

_ (Oh, shut up Remus! Janus is gone!) _ No. Janus is gone. He can’t keep looking back on him so fondly. What about the time he got angry and yelled?  _ Then apologized… _ Or the time he…

He hasn’t done anything horrible, has he? For as evil as he was portrayed by the other sides, he’s never been downright cruel to Remus. Even if he has, it didn’t phase him enough to have lasting effect.

_ (Janus could have always lied. Erased your memory! Maybe he’s so horrible but you just don’t remember.) _

“He wouldn’t do that! Janus wouldn’t… He wouldn’t.”

_ (He abandoned you.) _

_ “ _ I bet he had a great reason for leaving! Maybe they kidnapped him, or killed him, or brainwashed him! Like Jeffrey Dahmer!” He laughed at himself before realizing he was arguing with his own thoughts.

Remus stared at the movie playing on the television and looked down at his hands, one still clutching the remote.

_ (What if that remote was a knife? What if you killed someone? Janus? Virgil? Virgil left you too. Up and left! You could kill them. Can sides even die? I mean you’ve tried but you could always try again-) _

...Virgil.

Virgil never  _ liked _ Remus. He was tolerated at best. Intrusive thoughts and anxiety never mixed well, did they? He’d set off Virgil and Virgil would set off him.

They were still…  _ Family _ , though. The light sides never really liked them, it’s why they had their own place. The basement, where no one went down. The basement, where sometimes there was a crash at the door!  _ (He always wondered if it was a dead body)  _ The basement, where sometimes they’d hear laughing and talking from the other side of the door!

Up all those stairs. 

Virgil went up those stairs. He climbed them once and never came back. 

_ Just like Janus _ .

...Everyone  _ had _ left him, huh? Wow. How kind of them. How absolutely, positively, lovely of them!

He’d never leave them, he’d never go up there and not come back! He wouldn’t do that to them! He would never! It was probably nicer, sure, but he’d spent most of his life as a side with them!

Were all his efforts to attempt to be friendly, or welcoming, or  _ not a thing everyone hated  _ all for nothing?!

**_CRACK_ **

It was too late that he realized that his fists were tightening so much the remote he was holding was crushed. The batteries exploded and it was now just a stick with no working ability.

_ (Even the fucking remote couldn’t put up with him, huh?! Even the remote?!) _

He hurled the broken remote into the  _ stupid  _ TV and roared.

**_CRASH_ **

“I NEVER NEEDED YOU ANYWAY, BITCHES! I’M FINE ON MY OWN! WHY WOULD I NEED YOU?!”

Remus’ entire body shuddered as he fell to his knees. The broken television screamed with static. 

They left him. He couldn’t avoid it anymore, it couldn’t be forced away. They told him they were his friends and then left, they  _ left _ , they  **_LEFT!_ **

Tears streamed down his face  _ (Imagine if they were acid, you’d have scars in the shapes of tears everyone would be terrified-)  _ and fell into the stained carpet. 

He never needed them anyway.

\-- _Some time ago..._

It had been a long time coming. Roman wasn’t— still isn’t— very thrilled about it. Janus could see it in his side glances and his silence, his deceitful energy whenever he spoke.

And of course, he was Deceit. He knew.

He was sitting on the couch, properly as always, with the light sides sitting around him. If this was a year or so ago, he would’ve felt threatened. Now he felt… Well, still threatened, but less so.

All they had done was for Thomas. It was Thomas’ morality, Thomas’ anxiety, all him. He’d kept himself and the other dark sides hidden for a reason. Then Virgil came up and that all crumbled…

Patton bounced in front of him on his heels, and Janus snapped back. Morality was such a joyous side it was suffocating. Too joyous. Like he was overcompensating…

“So! Janus! I know you’ve been coming up to our side of the inner world a lot lately and  _ we _ ,” He put emphasis on the we, glaring at Roman and Virgil— It wasn’t a secret they didn’t want him up there. “Have decided to invite you to stay with us up here! Isn’t that absolutely wonderful?” Patton giggled.

Janus was at a loss for words. That… Wasn’t where he assumed this was going. “Sorry? Oh, Patton, there must be a misunderstanding. I can’t just stay here.”

“Oh, but you can! Ya’ know how Virgil moved up here? You can do the same thing! We can move your bedroom and everything!” 

“...”

Now, Janus usually went through all the possible outcomes of a situation before involving himself in it. This… Wasn’t one. He wasn’t prepared for this conversation. 

Move up here?

It was nicer, he had to admit. The table wasn’t about to break, the carpet wasn’t stained, and it was all together brighter. But… Remus was still down there. If he accepted, Remus would be all alone.

“Oh, thank you for the invite… Unfortunately, I believe leaving Remus alone down there would be a mistake. I’m all he has left, and you know how… talkative he is.” Janus stared at Virgil as he spoke, pointing out very obviously that he was still upset he left them.

Virgil scoffed and mumbled to himself quietly.

Patton grimaced at the mention of Remus. Morality never liked Remus. He encompassed all that was bad! Janus wasn’t bad, I mean, they had an entire episode about it. 

“Oh… Remus will be just fine! I’m sure he can be fine by himself while we work on getting you comfortable up here!”

“Morality, Remus will find ten different ways to destroy that basement if I’m not there.”

“It’s dark down there anyways, it doesn’t matter too much! Come on, look on the _brightside_ , we’re all here for you up here,”

“No.”

“Please~? Not even for your old Pat?” 

“No.”

“Oh come on! It’ll be so fun! Can’t you at least hang out for a little while and see how you like it?”

Janus was about to refuse a fifth time when he began to mull it over. He could either stay up here, where they either wanted them up here or tolerated him and were overly kind, or he could go back down to the embodiment of intrusive thoughts— his oldest friend, but a very... spontaneous one at that.

“...Fine. But only for a little bit.”

Morality laughed happily and elbowed Logan, who previously had been standing silently beside him. “See? I told you he’d agree!”

“...Mhm.”

At this point, Janus was sure that the only side that wanted him up here was Patton. And nobody could really argue with Patton. 

“For our first order of business, could you help me cook dinner?” Morality clapped his hands together.

“I suppose.”

**Author's Note:**

> oh no he died


End file.
